Reason To Cry!

Walking silently in the rains...
So that that thunder camouflages the sound
Of my heart breaking...
The world around me, unconscious
Of my grief and my longing...
The cold breeze that I walk against
Mourning the mock of fate
The insensitive sounds around me
Of glee that I know not of late...
However, with frantic helplessness I try
As I search for a reason to cry.

With the feeling of gloom sinking into me
Farther than the rain soaking into me
Raindrops dripping from my eyelids
Taking on the guise of tears
The realization gripping me
More firmly than the wetness
The metamorphosis into reality, of my fears
There's so much to feel around me
Yet my senses sense only vacuum
Realizing I am alive, I assume
It'd perhaps be easier to die
Than to search for a reason to cry.

As I move on with my soggy steps
Leaving behind muddy footprints
That would dissolve into the ground soon
Or be smudged by the rain
I am walking away from my love
My most beautiful memory,
My strength to smile,
My reason to live
Rationality brings back to my senses
The reason as to why
I search for a reason to cry...

My Unanswered Prayer

I kneel folding my hands into a prayer
But its not the temple nor the church
Not before the one whom people call God
I kneel before you...I pray to you
I pray life gives me a moment
Just one...
One moment as long as a zillion lifetimes
One moment when you look at me
And I see only myself in your eyes
One moment when you speak to me
And I hear only my name in your voice
The one moment when you smile
And I feel all the pain abating
The one moment when you hold my hand
And I feel you touching my soul
The one moment when you come close to me
And I smell only my breath through you...
I pray that moment comes once in my life
I pray it never ends...
I pray...and you stand...
You turn and walk away
But my prayer is not unanswered
Because I never put my prayer into words
Never imparted a voice to my prayer
You turned away on my silence
I don't know how you would've answered my prayer
All the same, I pray...
Whether you will be mine or not
May not be in my hands
But loving you is...
And I pray that I love you all through my life
I pray that I die loving you
And I pray that I love you in my next life
And the one after that too...!
I pray...for all eternity,
I kneel here praying that I love you!

Wait

An eternal thirst stretching over aeons
A timeless moment of longing
A spark of hope, A pang of despair
A gleam of light without a trace of its source
A cry of anguish...
No....maybe a call for someone
A call, vibrating straight from the heart
Without any expectations for a response
A dream....unreal, unfulfilled
An emotion....ineffable, misunderstood
A canvas tainted with irrational feelings
A painting beyond the depth of imagination
A night confronting its solitude
A drizzle pounding the earth
A pair of eyes set on the path of life
An insignificant soul out in the rain
With nobody to hold on to
With nobody to let go of
Except a wait...
The wait for true love
The unending wait for a feeling...
A feeling as pure to be reciprocated
The wait for a dawn
For the dark night to give way
To the morning to take over
A wait to hear that the wait is over!

The Meera

They always called Him "Radha-Madhav"
She was not just a part of Him
She became a part of His identity
They sang songs of Radha's love
To the notes of His flute
Which played the music of Meera's soul,
Yet no one even spoke of her
In the same breath as His name
They say the Radha-Madhav phenomenon
Portrays the true union of souls
Even though it never saw mortal union
But what of the soul that sought Him
Through all eternity,
Singing songs of His divine love
A love that was never hers
Yet the resonance of which kept her living...
A princess who turned a sage
In the infinite search of her love
Rather love itself!
No Vaishnava hymns chanted her love
No scriptures scribed the meanings of her search
No fable nor myth, spoke of her songs
The songs that never even echoed in her beloved's ears
Radha-Madhav is a tale of love
And union beyond the physical world
"Meera" is an echo of love
More divine than the Krishna himself
Unheard, Insignificant, Forgotten...
Yet alive...
In the very soul of He who symbolizes love
Breathing even today in the air
That rushes out of His flute...
The Meera that no one spoke of...!

Lovelorn Nights

The night poignant with silence
And the drifting clouds
Sparing occassional glimpses of the moon
Just as Life, sparing occassional glimpses of innocense
Amidst drifting dark clouds of Reality
Coming rarely in a rare night of dreams
When the breeze strokes
The windchimes into a song of love
And fills the ambience
with romantic melody
Urging the pensieve quill
Dipped in the ink of emotions
To lyric the poetry of longing
A gulf of compulsions
With a broken bridge of time
Separating two hearts
No....two parts...
Of souls that united to become one heart
The only messenger- the moon
Carrying assurance from one end
And tear-concealed smile from another
Seems to travel...
In the illusion of the drifting clouds...
The illusions of lovelorn nights!