The breeze swaying those lusturous locks
Cutting past the elegant curves of her body,
Unaware of the whole world she sits,
Eyes unfocused yet searching something,
She waits...
With no words to express her longing,
With no voice to cry out her anguish,
With no teras to drain away her fears,
Deaf to all voices around her,
Ears pricked for a crunch of his footsteps,
She waits...
Without a breath of life entering her,
Without a shimmer of light, to scatter the darkness,
Without a spark of inspiration to live,
Motionless except for the monotonous beating of her broken heart,
She waits...
Wordless dry lips, motionless with emotion,
Darkness encircling the wait in her eyes,
Gradually engulfing her very self,
Insensitive of what they think of her,
She waits...
With only a hope to be loved,
With only a desire to belong,
With only a longing to wait,
She belongs not to herself, but to him,
She loves...
Therefore, she waits...
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Monday, December 3, 2007
Reason To Cry!
Walking silently in the rains...
So that that thunder camouflages the sound
Of my heart breaking...
The world around me, unconscious
Of my grief and my longing...
The cold breeze that I walk against
Mourning the mock of fate
The insensitive sounds around me
Of glee that I know not of late...
However, with frantic helplessness I try
As I search for a reason to cry.
With the feeling of gloom sinking into me
Farther than the rain soaking into me
Raindrops dripping from my eyelids
Taking on the guise of tears
The realization gripping me
More firmly than the wetness
The metamorphosis into reality, of my fears
There's so much to feel around me
Yet my senses sense only vacuum
Realizing I am alive, I assume
It'd perhaps be easier to die
Than to search for a reason to cry.
As I move on with my soggy steps
Leaving behind muddy footprints
That would dissolve into the ground soon
Or be smudged by the rain
I am walking away from my love
My most beautiful memory,
My strength to smile,
My reason to live
Rationality brings back to my senses
The reason as to why
I search for a reason to cry...
So that that thunder camouflages the sound
Of my heart breaking...
The world around me, unconscious
Of my grief and my longing...
The cold breeze that I walk against
Mourning the mock of fate
The insensitive sounds around me
Of glee that I know not of late...
However, with frantic helplessness I try
As I search for a reason to cry.
With the feeling of gloom sinking into me
Farther than the rain soaking into me
Raindrops dripping from my eyelids
Taking on the guise of tears
The realization gripping me
More firmly than the wetness
The metamorphosis into reality, of my fears
There's so much to feel around me
Yet my senses sense only vacuum
Realizing I am alive, I assume
It'd perhaps be easier to die
Than to search for a reason to cry.
As I move on with my soggy steps
Leaving behind muddy footprints
That would dissolve into the ground soon
Or be smudged by the rain
I am walking away from my love
My most beautiful memory,
My strength to smile,
My reason to live
Rationality brings back to my senses
The reason as to why
I search for a reason to cry...
My Unanswered Prayer
I kneel folding my hands into a prayer
But its not the temple nor the church
Not before the one whom people call God
I kneel before you...I pray to you
I pray life gives me a moment
Just one...
One moment as long as a zillion lifetimes
One moment when you look at me
And I see only myself in your eyes
One moment when you speak to me
And I hear only my name in your voice
The one moment when you smile
And I feel all the pain abating
The one moment when you hold my hand
And I feel you touching my soul
The one moment when you come close to me
And I smell only my breath through you...
I pray that moment comes once in my life
I pray it never ends...
I pray...and you stand...
You turn and walk away
But my prayer is not unanswered
Because I never put my prayer into words
Never imparted a voice to my prayer
You turned away on my silence
I don't know how you would've answered my prayer
All the same, I pray...
Whether you will be mine or not
May not be in my hands
But loving you is...
And I pray that I love you all through my life
I pray that I die loving you
And I pray that I love you in my next life
And the one after that too...!
I pray...for all eternity,
I kneel here praying that I love you!
But its not the temple nor the church
Not before the one whom people call God
I kneel before you...I pray to you
I pray life gives me a moment
Just one...
One moment as long as a zillion lifetimes
One moment when you look at me
And I see only myself in your eyes
One moment when you speak to me
And I hear only my name in your voice
The one moment when you smile
And I feel all the pain abating
The one moment when you hold my hand
And I feel you touching my soul
The one moment when you come close to me
And I smell only my breath through you...
I pray that moment comes once in my life
I pray it never ends...
I pray...and you stand...
You turn and walk away
But my prayer is not unanswered
Because I never put my prayer into words
Never imparted a voice to my prayer
You turned away on my silence
I don't know how you would've answered my prayer
All the same, I pray...
Whether you will be mine or not
May not be in my hands
But loving you is...
And I pray that I love you all through my life
I pray that I die loving you
And I pray that I love you in my next life
And the one after that too...!
I pray...for all eternity,
I kneel here praying that I love you!
Wait
An eternal thirst stretching over aeons
A timeless moment of longing
A spark of hope, A pang of despair
A gleam of light without a trace of its source
A cry of anguish...
No....maybe a call for someone
A call, vibrating straight from the heart
Without any expectations for a response
A dream....unreal, unfulfilled
An emotion....ineffable, misunderstood
A canvas tainted with irrational feelings
A painting beyond the depth of imagination
A night confronting its solitude
A drizzle pounding the earth
A pair of eyes set on the path of life
An insignificant soul out in the rain
With nobody to hold on to
With nobody to let go of
Except a wait...
The wait for true love
The unending wait for a feeling...
A feeling as pure to be reciprocated
The wait for a dawn
For the dark night to give way
To the morning to take over
A wait to hear that the wait is over!
A timeless moment of longing
A spark of hope, A pang of despair
A gleam of light without a trace of its source
A cry of anguish...
No....maybe a call for someone
A call, vibrating straight from the heart
Without any expectations for a response
A dream....unreal, unfulfilled
An emotion....ineffable, misunderstood
A canvas tainted with irrational feelings
A painting beyond the depth of imagination
A night confronting its solitude
A drizzle pounding the earth
A pair of eyes set on the path of life
An insignificant soul out in the rain
With nobody to hold on to
With nobody to let go of
Except a wait...
The wait for true love
The unending wait for a feeling...
A feeling as pure to be reciprocated
The wait for a dawn
For the dark night to give way
To the morning to take over
A wait to hear that the wait is over!
The Meera
They always called Him "Radha-Madhav"
She was not just a part of Him
She became a part of His identity
They sang songs of Radha's love
To the notes of His flute
Which played the music of Meera's soul,
Yet no one even spoke of her
In the same breath as His name
They say the Radha-Madhav phenomenon
Portrays the true union of souls
Even though it never saw mortal union
But what of the soul that sought Him
Through all eternity,
Singing songs of His divine love
A love that was never hers
Yet the resonance of which kept her living...
A princess who turned a sage
In the infinite search of her love
Rather love itself!
No Vaishnava hymns chanted her love
No scriptures scribed the meanings of her search
No fable nor myth, spoke of her songs
The songs that never even echoed in her beloved's ears
Radha-Madhav is a tale of love
And union beyond the physical world
"Meera" is an echo of love
More divine than the Krishna himself
Unheard, Insignificant, Forgotten...
Yet alive...
In the very soul of He who symbolizes love
Breathing even today in the air
That rushes out of His flute...
The Meera that no one spoke of...!
She was not just a part of Him
She became a part of His identity
They sang songs of Radha's love
To the notes of His flute
Which played the music of Meera's soul,
Yet no one even spoke of her
In the same breath as His name
They say the Radha-Madhav phenomenon
Portrays the true union of souls
Even though it never saw mortal union
But what of the soul that sought Him
Through all eternity,
Singing songs of His divine love
A love that was never hers
Yet the resonance of which kept her living...
A princess who turned a sage
In the infinite search of her love
Rather love itself!
No Vaishnava hymns chanted her love
No scriptures scribed the meanings of her search
No fable nor myth, spoke of her songs
The songs that never even echoed in her beloved's ears
Radha-Madhav is a tale of love
And union beyond the physical world
"Meera" is an echo of love
More divine than the Krishna himself
Unheard, Insignificant, Forgotten...
Yet alive...
In the very soul of He who symbolizes love
Breathing even today in the air
That rushes out of His flute...
The Meera that no one spoke of...!
Lovelorn Nights
The night poignant with silence
And the drifting clouds
Sparing occassional glimpses of the moon
Just as Life, sparing occassional glimpses of innocense
Amidst drifting dark clouds of Reality
Coming rarely in a rare night of dreams
When the breeze strokes
The windchimes into a song of love
And fills the ambience
with romantic melody
Urging the pensieve quill
Dipped in the ink of emotions
To lyric the poetry of longing
A gulf of compulsions
With a broken bridge of time
Separating two hearts
No....two parts...
Of souls that united to become one heart
The only messenger- the moon
Carrying assurance from one end
And tear-concealed smile from another
Seems to travel...
In the illusion of the drifting clouds...
The illusions of lovelorn nights!
And the drifting clouds
Sparing occassional glimpses of the moon
Just as Life, sparing occassional glimpses of innocense
Amidst drifting dark clouds of Reality
Coming rarely in a rare night of dreams
When the breeze strokes
The windchimes into a song of love
And fills the ambience
with romantic melody
Urging the pensieve quill
Dipped in the ink of emotions
To lyric the poetry of longing
A gulf of compulsions
With a broken bridge of time
Separating two hearts
No....two parts...
Of souls that united to become one heart
The only messenger- the moon
Carrying assurance from one end
And tear-concealed smile from another
Seems to travel...
In the illusion of the drifting clouds...
The illusions of lovelorn nights!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
The End of an Era.....a Life!
on 21st july, at 8:30 am as I was walkin down to Bookmark on mah way to college, der was dis mixed feeling of excitement, joy n at d same time, a fear! And when I was walkin out wid hardback 604page thick harry potter and the deathly hallows, at d same time i felt an urge to sit down on a roadside bench n start readin n also a fear not to open d book....i didnt want to read it to d end! I decided do open it at college....
sittin at d college chaupal, der were girls shoutin "dis person died","dis happened"...blah blah.....i avoided der spoilers n moved to a secluded corner to peacefully sit down n open mah most awaited read! granny had given me d money to buy it,as token of congrats on mah whoppin 12th results! i deserved it.....n i opened mah reward with one o' d rare smiles dat crossed mah face since i stepped into delhi....away from home! i read thru....sumtimes goin bak n rereadin a few pages at a time....i felt as if i just dnt wanna go ahead...evry passin page was like a step closer to d end....i wanted harry's ordeal to end no doubt! but i didnt want to end d whole feeling.....bcoz i knew d closing sentence wont indicate harry's return to hogwarts next yr n d smokin hogwarts express speedin off platform 9 n 3 quarters!! now anoder tale from a silly pottermaniac eh? no its not..... it's one feeling that probably many ppl o' mah age can relate to! or even if m d only one....i hav gud reason 4 it!
i remember at d age o' 11 wen one o' mah cousins gifted me mah first harry potter(n d philosopher's stone), as i sat on mah desk readin it....absorbin evry line of it.....i just read it for fun! i felt it was a gr8 read n all but nothin beyond dat....n i took 3 days to finish d book. d next day at school, as i sat wid mah best frnd chattin, she was narratin me our first meetin n how we became best o' frnds.... it was a journey to school on d bus...we talked n became frnds....i felt a small familiarity wid wat i'd read a day b4! i dismissed it as a lame thot....den as days went by i discovered more links.... a trio dat we had,me,neha n sonam.... sonam d fun-lovin one, neha d studious topper of class n i, average yet appreciated by evry1.....an average n ordinary girl at heart whom sumhow ppl used to find worth appreciatin n extraordinary sortof....popular n sum1 who valued frnds above evrythin.....i still cud relate to d book i read days bak!
next yr,wen i was 12, i got chamber of secrets in d school library....i read on....yes d yr wen i discovered dat mah school was 120+ yrs ol'....wid four houses named after four founders.... mr.bamfield, mr.biggs, mr.roberts n mr.young! n yeah worth addin dat i was in bamfield house n mah house colour was red! mah school was a pre-independence time ol' building wid lots to discover which attracted adventerous kids like me! cudnt be just a co-incidence...
i started to read each book at d apt yr....n sumhow inspite o' d irregularities in publication, i've always read each bk at d apt age! n evry event in harry's school lyf....replayed in mine.....as if jkr sat wid d quill of destiny to shape mine!! i still remember d day wen i read bk 5 just b4 our school re-openin day....i was shocked to find dat harry was not a prefect but his best buddies were! i had more shock to face.... Dat yr i saw mah best buddies.....neha n sonam bcum school prefects n i, who'd dreamed of it since 6th std, stood der like harry.....baffled!! i resigned mah superstition to a faith.....as if i was destined to read d bk....n in a way i developed a sort o' attatchment towards d hp series dat i neva had 4 ne oder bk!
anoder incident....i remember was ron n harry's fight in bk 4! i remember i n neha had a grave fight d same yr....ultimately a patch up dat made d frndship stronger!
n in d sixth book wen dumby died....dat yr our princi who had always supported me, retired! den der was a teacher, a maths teacher we all called severus snape....we loathed him n 4 sum mysterious reason(though anoder reason cud b mah pathetic marks in maths...even harry wasnt gud at potions...lolz) reciprocated mah feelings!! n later towards d end o' mah school lyf i discovered wen i was in a serious trouble dis man saved me from evrythin...! n it wasnt a surprise wen after a few o' dis incident i read bk7 n found out bout snape!
i encountered a time in mah school lyf wen evry1 was against me! no one believed me....initially not even mah frnds but den dey stood by me.....probably as ron n hernione did 4 harry! i witnessed all dat harry did.....sum parts o' it practically n sum emotionally....i'd read each bk n i knew wat was waitin 4 me in d yr ahead....n now wen i was 17 n i read thru deathly hallows, i knew d ultimate triumph..i had it.....(4 sum personal reasons i cant mention d details o' d incident)!
when ultimately i ended deathly hallows....i wasnt cryin, but it was a heavy feeling!...sittin cut-off from d whole world 4 d past 24hrs i knew dat nxt yr i'd not knw wat wud happen to me.....I pondered over it 4 long.....how can harry's lyf just end?how can all dis end? n if it does....if it has in fact,.....den will mah lyf cum to a standstill too? d answer was sumwhere within me....NO!!! yes, it is not just d end o' harry potter books....it is d end of an era...for dose who grew up wid d books; for dose who lived thru d books(like me), it is but not d end of life.....b coz i still sumhow feel....dat in case i get into a law skool next yr....dose 5 yrs will be a rewind of mah unkown, incomprehensible n unexplainable link/connection wid d fiction called "THE MAGICAL WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!"....
now, i dunno whether u do or not, after readin dis..... but after understandin dis i DO believe dat truth indeed is stranger dan fiction!!
sittin at d college chaupal, der were girls shoutin "dis person died","dis happened"...blah blah.....i avoided der spoilers n moved to a secluded corner to peacefully sit down n open mah most awaited read! granny had given me d money to buy it,as token of congrats on mah whoppin 12th results! i deserved it.....n i opened mah reward with one o' d rare smiles dat crossed mah face since i stepped into delhi....away from home! i read thru....sumtimes goin bak n rereadin a few pages at a time....i felt as if i just dnt wanna go ahead...evry passin page was like a step closer to d end....i wanted harry's ordeal to end no doubt! but i didnt want to end d whole feeling.....bcoz i knew d closing sentence wont indicate harry's return to hogwarts next yr n d smokin hogwarts express speedin off platform 9 n 3 quarters!! now anoder tale from a silly pottermaniac eh? no its not..... it's one feeling that probably many ppl o' mah age can relate to! or even if m d only one....i hav gud reason 4 it!
i remember at d age o' 11 wen one o' mah cousins gifted me mah first harry potter(n d philosopher's stone), as i sat on mah desk readin it....absorbin evry line of it.....i just read it for fun! i felt it was a gr8 read n all but nothin beyond dat....n i took 3 days to finish d book. d next day at school, as i sat wid mah best frnd chattin, she was narratin me our first meetin n how we became best o' frnds.... it was a journey to school on d bus...we talked n became frnds....i felt a small familiarity wid wat i'd read a day b4! i dismissed it as a lame thot....den as days went by i discovered more links.... a trio dat we had,me,neha n sonam.... sonam d fun-lovin one, neha d studious topper of class n i, average yet appreciated by evry1.....an average n ordinary girl at heart whom sumhow ppl used to find worth appreciatin n extraordinary sortof....popular n sum1 who valued frnds above evrythin.....i still cud relate to d book i read days bak!
next yr,wen i was 12, i got chamber of secrets in d school library....i read on....yes d yr wen i discovered dat mah school was 120+ yrs ol'....wid four houses named after four founders.... mr.bamfield, mr.biggs, mr.roberts n mr.young! n yeah worth addin dat i was in bamfield house n mah house colour was red! mah school was a pre-independence time ol' building wid lots to discover which attracted adventerous kids like me! cudnt be just a co-incidence...
i started to read each book at d apt yr....n sumhow inspite o' d irregularities in publication, i've always read each bk at d apt age! n evry event in harry's school lyf....replayed in mine.....as if jkr sat wid d quill of destiny to shape mine!! i still remember d day wen i read bk 5 just b4 our school re-openin day....i was shocked to find dat harry was not a prefect but his best buddies were! i had more shock to face.... Dat yr i saw mah best buddies.....neha n sonam bcum school prefects n i, who'd dreamed of it since 6th std, stood der like harry.....baffled!! i resigned mah superstition to a faith.....as if i was destined to read d bk....n in a way i developed a sort o' attatchment towards d hp series dat i neva had 4 ne oder bk!
anoder incident....i remember was ron n harry's fight in bk 4! i remember i n neha had a grave fight d same yr....ultimately a patch up dat made d frndship stronger!
n in d sixth book wen dumby died....dat yr our princi who had always supported me, retired! den der was a teacher, a maths teacher we all called severus snape....we loathed him n 4 sum mysterious reason(though anoder reason cud b mah pathetic marks in maths...even harry wasnt gud at potions...lolz) reciprocated mah feelings!! n later towards d end o' mah school lyf i discovered wen i was in a serious trouble dis man saved me from evrythin...! n it wasnt a surprise wen after a few o' dis incident i read bk7 n found out bout snape!
i encountered a time in mah school lyf wen evry1 was against me! no one believed me....initially not even mah frnds but den dey stood by me.....probably as ron n hernione did 4 harry! i witnessed all dat harry did.....sum parts o' it practically n sum emotionally....i'd read each bk n i knew wat was waitin 4 me in d yr ahead....n now wen i was 17 n i read thru deathly hallows, i knew d ultimate triumph..i had it.....(4 sum personal reasons i cant mention d details o' d incident)!
when ultimately i ended deathly hallows....i wasnt cryin, but it was a heavy feeling!...sittin cut-off from d whole world 4 d past 24hrs i knew dat nxt yr i'd not knw wat wud happen to me.....I pondered over it 4 long.....how can harry's lyf just end?how can all dis end? n if it does....if it has in fact,.....den will mah lyf cum to a standstill too? d answer was sumwhere within me....NO!!! yes, it is not just d end o' harry potter books....it is d end of an era...for dose who grew up wid d books; for dose who lived thru d books(like me), it is but not d end of life.....b coz i still sumhow feel....dat in case i get into a law skool next yr....dose 5 yrs will be a rewind of mah unkown, incomprehensible n unexplainable link/connection wid d fiction called "THE MAGICAL WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!"....
now, i dunno whether u do or not, after readin dis..... but after understandin dis i DO believe dat truth indeed is stranger dan fiction!!
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